Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
