Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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