It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
