i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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