I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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