do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
