it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
