I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
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I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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