When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
