Your mouth is God's brothel.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
