Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
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She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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