I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
