It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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