Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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