I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
