Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my being single is dangerous.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
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