Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
