You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
