Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
