you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm