But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.