It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.