Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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