I'm so fucking centered right now
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
