the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
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you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
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todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.