i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
