My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
