That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
