They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
