You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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