does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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