He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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