Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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