So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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