You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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