dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
