You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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