Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
