just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize