When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize