I'm gonna have a badass scar
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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