I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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