I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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