i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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