I must be too annoying 4 u.
In the future we'll all be gay
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
