do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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