I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
