Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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