i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
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I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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