it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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