i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Omg I joined a choir last night...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
