May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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