why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
