my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize