so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
