well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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