plz talk dirty to me
Fuck appropriateness.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
