If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
