'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
