If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize