After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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