You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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