"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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