OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
