I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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