brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
