There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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