D3 body, D1 cock
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.