I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.