Betty ford says i'm here all night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.