Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room (1-225): haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom? http://tfl.nu/q6me
  Replies (55) Good night (10495) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience http://tfl.nu/d1lz
  Replies (49) Good night (682) Bad night (6289)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I intend to get homeless drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I intend to get homeless drunk http://tfl.nu/9yk9
  Replies (20) Good night (5070) Bad night (1463)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now. http://tfl.nu/so7u
  Replies (7) Good night (883) Bad night (3380)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass http://tfl.nu/ukpo
  Replies (6) Good night (1638) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk http://tfl.nu/ub56
  Replies (3) Good night (1939) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair. http://tfl.nu/b6aa
  Replies (7) Good night (903) Bad night (1800)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point. http://tfl.nu/bf1e
  Replies (6) Good night (569) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls. http://tfl.nu/b02k
  Replies (6) Good night (2030) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff http://tfl.nu/ddxb
  Replies (6) Good night (1040) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart. http://tfl.nu/h3lf
  Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it! http://tfl.nu/b9cd
  Replies (2) Good night (833) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong. http://tfl.nu/l8wk
  Replies (2) Good night (343) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now http://tfl.nu/r2zb
  Replies (0) Good night (543) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.

  (845): View more from New York

  you are a goddess

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment. (845): you are a goddess http://tfl.nu/5u6j
  Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (221)

Randomize