I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I am never drinking with the goths again.