Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.

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  (978): I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud. http://tfl.nu/nbnf
  Replies (15) Good night (1573) Bad night (525)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.

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  (336): walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life. http://tfl.nu/o34i
  Replies (39) Good night (2008) Bad night (12671)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.

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  (402): Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement. http://tfl.nu/h6nw
  Replies (43) Good night (827) Bad night (6472)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight

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  (770): just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight http://tfl.nu/b8vr
  Replies (38) Good night (4588) Bad night (1529)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.

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  (316): And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you. http://tfl.nu/vzzi
  Replies (7) Good night (3920) Bad night (1119)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.

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  (601): It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed. http://tfl.nu/yhbt
  Replies (15) Good night (1334) Bad night (5603)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.

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  (318): Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated. http://tfl.nu/sxgj
  Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (2502)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.

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  (508): I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper. http://tfl.nu/3wm1
  Replies (13) Good night (2167) Bad night (1158)
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  (760): View more from California

  I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.

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  (760): I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day. http://tfl.nu/8ipd
  Replies (4) Good night (3176) Bad night (766)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.

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  (804): by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious. http://tfl.nu/gquc
  Replies (2) Good night (2686) Bad night (637)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine

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  (412): I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine http://tfl.nu/2gdt
  Replies (13) Good night (916) Bad night (1850)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you

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  (641): Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you http://tfl.nu/x1rz
  Replies (5) Good night (1435) Bad night (781)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun

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  (614): I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun http://tfl.nu/01eg
  Replies (14) Good night (1385) Bad night (1046)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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  (585): You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you. http://tfl.nu/gcz1
  Replies (4) Good night (1845) Bad night (547)
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  (607): View more from New York

  WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"

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  (607): WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!" http://tfl.nu/33ys
  Replies (5) Good night (395) Bad night (675)

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