I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
