Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?

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(407): Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia? http://tfl.nu/5o5f

Replies (33) Good night (1012) Bad night (12637)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.

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(647): Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar. http://tfl.nu/rv9o

Replies (27) Good night (1331) Bad night (9922)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.

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(443): I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval. http://tfl.nu/2acf

Replies (16) Good night (6621) Bad night (1160)
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(443): View more from Maryland

We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.

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(443): We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending. http://tfl.nu/khho

Replies (6) Good night (4580) Bad night (812)
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(714): View more from California

we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet

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(714): we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet http://tfl.nu/qhid

Replies (12) Good night (4581) Bad night (1509)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.

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(703): I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/udrq

Replies (4) Good night (2282) Bad night (941)
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(425): View more from Washington

Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

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(425): Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested. http://tfl.nu/cy6p

Replies (5) Good night (1457) Bad night (852)
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(904): View more from Florida

I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

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(904): I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really. http://tfl.nu/399x

Replies (4) Good night (1490) Bad night (582)
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(641): View more from Iowa

If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.

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(641): If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics. http://tfl.nu/etl3

Replies (8) Good night (1715) Bad night (712)
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(503): View more from Oregon

That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.

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(503): That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it. http://tfl.nu/se2i

Replies (4) Good night (580) Bad night (446)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue

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(720): I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue http://tfl.nu/01f7

Replies (3) Good night (468) Bad night (376)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.

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(202): Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head. http://tfl.nu/ntvr

Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (360)
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(817): View more from Texas

she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.

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(817): she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other. http://tfl.nu/sl8d

Replies (7) Good night (1090) Bad night (395)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home

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(775): He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home http://tfl.nu/6g10

Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (522)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.

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(218): last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat. http://tfl.nu/thb6

Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (341)

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