is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
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