I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
