I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
